PoP ~ November Thought Prompts and Discussion
The rules are pretty simple:
- This is a safe place for you to share your thoughts and ideas on each day’s prompt.
- Critical thought and poignant questions are encouraged.
- Any behavior that seems aggressive, abusive or attempts to undermine the efforts of other participants will be banned from the conversation and the site.
Clarity Portion of the Month
(Days 1-10, minus weekends)
Day 1 Thought Prompt
Where do I (have I) felt relief*?
* relief is the “thank goodness X didn’t happen” kind of feeling
Relief is different from gratitude. Since we’re starting November off with clarity about our current mindset you may be adding your own “Thought Prompt” to this question if you need to first identify what “relief” means to you. And that’s ok. In fact, it’s kind of the point. 😉
Day 2 Thought Prompt
Where do I (have I) felt gratitude*?
*gratitude is the “I’m so excited X happened” feeling.
Relief is different from gratitude. Since we’re starting November off with clarity about our current mindset you may be adding your own “Thought Prompt” to this question if you need to first identify what “gratitude” means to you. And that’s ok. In fact, it’s kind of the point. 😉
AND…are the conditions different from one another? Are there places where you typically feel relief that you could shift to gratitude?Â
Day 3 Thought Prompt
What has been uncomfortable but still useful?
Do I feel grateful (or relief…or something else) for the utility of this experience?
We’re just investigating our current thoughts, habits and beliefs about our life experience. That’s all. Get curious about the answer, not judgmental.
Day 4 Thought Prompt
What is painful that I can feel grateful for? why/how?
There is real-time pain where we just need to feel what we feel. This prompt is meant for pain that you are re-living from old hurts or borrowing from imagined future hurts.
Use the perspective of your future self who has learned something really valuable from a really sucky time.
Day 5 Thought Prompt
What is scary that I can feel grateful for? why/how?
Past, present or future … what happens in life that may feel frightening but brings out something good in either yourself, others or circumstances?
Day 6 Thought Prompt
When I think about being grateful for the uncomfortable, painful & scary, where do I have resistance*?
*Resistance is that voice in your head that gets defense and either calls “Bullshit,” or meekly says, “yeah but…”
Our hidden stories rear their ugly heads the moment we start to step into power of any kind, including gratitude. When we try to FEEL (not just think) gratitude for the icky stuff, “I’m SO thankful that I get stronger through my trials and hardships because then I’m able to help others, (change my circumstances, trust myself, etc),” and we’re smacked in the face with a follow up thought that says, “Yeah but, it sure would be nice if someone else would use THEIR strength to help ME for a change!” Then we’ve found a hidden story about how we’re the only ones helping or no one else gives a crap about us or some other unconscious or subconscious belief about ourselves, others or our circumstances.
Day 7 Thought Prompt
Review Day 6’s thoughts on “Resistance”
What are the things I think I “should” be feeling, thinking or doing instead of the resistance I actually feel?
Did your resistance reveal a bit of a shadow side that makes you uncomfortable? That’s actually GREAT!! Because now it’s in the light and it can’t exist for long ~ especially now that you’re doing this work. Do NOT beat yourself up. Just notice your “shoulds” is there a way to change them to “coulds?”
Day 8 Thought Prompt
When I’m feeling truly grateful where does it show up in my body?
How did you separate blissful gratitude from the let-down of relief? Get into that true gratitude feeling and identify how it shows up in you body.
There’s wisdom in our body so it’s important to tune into it and listen to what it has to say. When we recognize where our emotions appear in our body we can tap into them more deeply use them and even replicate them when we need to turn things around in our life.
ALSO ~ we realize it isn’t enough to think grateful thoughts, we must FEEL grateful in order to tune into what is most important to us and what we’re creating in our lives.
Gathering Portion of the Month
(Days 11-20, minus weekends)
Day 9 Thought Prompt
What circumstances in my life support relief? i.e. “I can only get as far as relief when I am _________ (exhausted, neglected, burnt out, etc.)
Relief is a starting point for gratitude, certainly, so we don’t want to undercut its value. We also want to recognize that there are times when we simply cannot do more than simply feel relieved…it’s like the feeling gratitude (beyond mere grateful thoughts) is just too far away or too burdensome to get to. That’s OK…there’s no reason to judge that. We also want to identify when and why that happens so we can understand where we get stuck.
Day 10 Thought Prompt
What circumstances in my life support gratitude? i.e. “I really FEEL grateful (not just have grateful thoughts) when I ____________ (focus, talk with a friend, meditate, etc).”
What shifts the feeling of relief into the feeling of gratitude OR grateful thoughts into grateful feelings? Does it just happen naturally? That’s awesome. Most of us, however, need to hone in on the moment, the gift, the release, or the opportunity to move it from our brains to our emotions and to the cellular and neurological level.
Day 11 Thought Prompt
When something is uncomfortable I can ______ until I feel grateful (or in order to feel grateful).
Sometimes we just need some time to let things sink in. If that’s the case then remember that’s what you need and return to the good news or opportunity repeatedly as it solidifies in you. I, personally, meditate on the gifts and good news until it settles into me. Others need to specifically get away from the hustle and bustle in order to mull everything over. It’s different for everyone.
Day 12 Thought Prompt
When something is painful I can _____________ until I feel grateful (or in order to feel grateful).
Do NOT talk yourself out of pain/hurt that is happening real-time. This prompt is meant for pain you’re either reliving from your past or you’re borrowing from the future.
Timing is VERY important here. If you’re in the midst of pain (the injury or grief is occurring in the moment then it is NOT time to be using these tools and ideas. Sometimes the only thing you can do is feel what you feel. AND now that you’re beginning to understand that this pain isn’t permanent and it will eventually serve your highest good you can just know that you will be able to either find meaning or make meaning where empowers you to do so …… WHEN YOU’RE READY.
Day 13 Thought Prompt
When something is scary I can _____________ until I feel grateful (or in order to feel grateful)
How do you gather courage, calm or faith? How have you done it before?
Day 14 Thought Prompt
Review the hidden stories that arose on Day 6’s work on resistance:
Today I will consider how my “yeah buts” can be “yes, ands.”
We accept the uncomfortable, painful and scary (especially where they’ve risen in our hidden stories that we found from our resistance in the Day 6 Thought Prompt) AND we identify where we’d like to make changes. So “yeah BUTÂ it’d be nice if others would help me” turns into “Yes, AND I will start asking for help more (or find more helpful friends, or join support groups or ________).”
Day 15 Thought Prompt
Today I will replace as “shoulds” as I can find with “coulds” to remind myself that I get to choose.
Every single day we make choices that we treat like obligations. It doesn’t take long for life to feel burdensome with that approach.
You “should” pay your mortgage. You COULD!! You COULD NOT, too. You CHOOSE not to be homeless.
You “should” be careful with your word choice around that toxic co-worker. You COULD. You COULD NOT, too. You CHOOSE to keep a peaceful work environment for yourself.
You “should” help that friend move. You COULD or COULD NOT. You CHOOSE to be generous because that’s the kind of person you like to look at in the mirror every day.
What are some of your favorite examples??
Day 16 Thought Prompt
Review Day 8:
Other than gratitude itself what brings the physical feeling of gratitude? How can I do more of those things? Or where am I already doing them that I can be more intentional about it?
Thoughts, when we focus on them, show up in our bodies as physical sensations. The reverse is true, too. We can create the physical sensation in order to spur thoughts.
Remember we’re creating a new default response to our world. The more we practice the FEELING of gratitude the more easily we’ll tune into it. Tap into that feeling whenever and wherever possible.
Action Portion of the Month
(Days 21-End, minus weekends)
Day 17 Thought Prompt
Review day 11
Heal the circumstance you said created mere relief. i.e. Get enough rest, foster attentive relationships, etc.
Basically do what you said you wanted/needed to do. 🙂
It’s WONDERFUL to think about these things and have eye-opening conversations but at some point you really want to make some changes. Obviously this won’t be a one-time thing and that’s ok. Every time you feel yourself going “whew, that’s good news” you know it’s the reminder to ACT on the idea you had about really getting grateful.
And it’s ok if you forget sometimes too. It’s normal…true evolution doesn’t happen overnight and you’ll get LOTS of opportunities. Give yourself a hug from me while you’re going through all of this. The Action portion is where shit really gets real.
Day 18 Thought Prompt
Turn the obvious gifts (nice cashier, 49/50 safe drivers, clean underwear, WHATEVER) into grateful moments.
Gratitude is like a muscle, it only strengthens when you flex it. Flex away, my Lovely!!
Day 19 Thought Prompt
Review Day 11:
Review the ideas you built on Day 11. When something uncomfortable happens use your plan, find the gift in it real-time (instead of waiting for hindsight) and just see how grateful you can feel for it.
Hint: it’s totally ok if you can’t feel grateful yet ~ you’ve only just begun this process. #ProgressNotPerfection
Remember, you have a LIFETIME of other habits built in that will need to dislodge before these new habits can take hold. This is a process, not an overnight fix. Be gracious with yourself <— your own frustration is the perfect opportunity to practice your plan too! Practice is EVERYWHERE!
Day 20 Thought Prompt
Review Day 12:
Review the ideas you built on Day 12. When something painful happens use your plan, find the gift in it real-time (instead of waiting for hindsight) and just see how grateful you can feel for it. IMPORTANT NOTE: Remember the rule about real-time pain ~ this exercise is ONLY for the pain that you’re reviewing from the past or that you’re borrowing from the future. If you’re experiencing real-time pain, give yourself some distance before practicing this Thought Prompt.
Hint: it’s totally ok if you can’t feel grateful yet ~ you’ve only just begun this process. #ProgressNotPerfection
Remember, you have a LIFETIME of other habits built in that will need to dislodge before these new habits can take hold. This is a process, not an overnight fix. Be gracious with yourself <— your own frustration is the perfect opportunity to practice your plan too! Practice is EVERYWHERE!
Day 21 Thought Prompt
Review Day 13:
Review the ideas you built on Day 13. When something feels scary use your plan, find the gift in it real-time (instead of waiting for hindsight) and just see how grateful you can feel for it.
Hint: it’s totally ok if you can’t feel grateful yet ~ you’ve only just begun this process. #ProgressNotPerfection
The more you’re tuned into your body the more you’ll feel the difference between, “OMG, this is amazing but scary” kind of scary and “Alarm bells are going off, listen to your intuition” kind of scary. That’s why learning how your body communicates with you is SUPER important.
Day 22 Thought Prompt
Remember the ideas in your “yes ands?” Begin using them. Begin saying them. Search for them at every possible “yeah, but.”
Change your language, change your thoughts, change your habits, change your beliefs. Word choice matters!
Day 23 Thought Prompt
You found your “should” (obligation),
you realized they’re actually “coulds” (choice),
now get clear on what you “would” do (empowerment) so that you can get in alignment with gratitude.
“I should go workout (because if I don’t _____ guilt/blame/blah)” turns into
“I COULD go workout (I have a choice and if I DO choose it I’ll feel ______) turns into
“I WOULD go workout (because I enjoy feeling _____).
Basically instead of ordering yourself around all the time you’re graciously getting your own buy-in to decisions that lead to outcomes you enjoy. Once you’ve really bought in then you can feel curious, playful and even joyful at the choices you’re making in life and that changes EVERYTHING.
Day 24 Thought Prompt
Review day 16
Those things you identified that feel similar to your gratitude feeling in your body…schedule them, do them and do more of them.
Visualizing them helps too. The more you’re in that feeling space (emotionally and physically) the faster you improve your chemistry to support positivity, passion and purpose.
I realize that I’m pretty good at moving through relief into gratitude on things that feel like “news” and for everyday happenings (like having a gap in traffic when I’m ready to merge). I’ll literally get giddy when things go my way.
When I reflect on where I fall short of gratitude and get stuck at relief it is clearly with my own accomplishments. I kick ass nearly every single day and I rarely take a moment to celebrate my accomplishments…I merely move on to the next thing. It’s not really “relief” per se but it is definitely short of gratitude.
I never thought to distinguish gratitude from relief. Often we thank God for when something bad doesn’t happen and curse God when something bad does. That is not gratitude nor mindfulness.
That is an EXCELLENT point. Makes me wonder if culpability is of greater import to us than presence and gratitude.
Day 5: “Scary” is always an emotion that gets me in touch with my body’s wisdom. It always makes me tune in more deeply to see if what I’m feeling is “scary-run,” “scary-fun” or “scary-OMGPushingMyBoundariesI’mTerrifiedAndDoingItAnyway!!!!!” It’s a good reminder to me that my body is chock full of wisdom and that I would do well by tuning in that deeply more often.
Day 7:
Today is the PERFECT day to address this because I am in the midst of pain and grief over the results of this election. So, I’m just going to be SUPER honest and let the chips fall where they may (I’m posting a video about this later this morning too). I know that I have MANY reasons to be grateful for the results today, not the least of which is that I have an INCREDIBLE opportunity to practice standing in my power, to practice grace, to practice FAITH!! And all of that will serve me very well in the long run.
My resistance says, “Yeah but assholes don’t deserve to win. And if you just forgive and let go you’ve allowed for the normalization of all of his hatred.” There’s more if you want to check out the “Scoping Out…Now: Easiest Way to Deal with Shock and Pain.”
Day 8:
When I tap into my body while feeling grateful I notice that my chest feels warm and there’s a little skip in my heart kind of feeling. I can’t help but smile and sometimes I get a little lump in my throat.
Where does YOUR gratitude show up?
Day 9: I can really only get as far as relief if I’m feeling exhausted or backed in a corner somehow. I can get to gratitude if I have the wherewithal to try but it takes a lot more work if I haven’t been taking care of myself enough to feel fresh, present and prepared.
That includes if I haven’t been eating well.