The smell of burnt rubber invades the air as smoke rises from the tires. Her right foot smashes the gas to the the floor while her left begins to let off the break. The tires spin in place as the back end fishtails from side to side. The engine’s roar meets with the tires’ banshee shriek as the massive hunk of metal lurches forward and speeds away. Kinetic energy becomes movement once again.
Burnout: the process by which you work super extra hard to stay exactly where are.
You know the drill.
Wake up, get ready, get everyone fed and out the door, try to make the most of rush hour by listening to an audio book only to find missed the chapter you really needed to hear because you were too busy thinking about whether or not you’d have time to go by the grocery store after work.
You realize that what you should be worrying about is how you’re going to implement some of those strategies for dealing with loneliness at work then remember that one of the members on your “amplification” team is going to miss the meeting you need help with. She’s taking her husband to the cardiologist.
Which reminds you that your dad is going to need his meds refilled next week and you haven’t called the Dr about his follow up appointment yet. You’d schedule it for tomorrow except you’re already leaving early because it’s your day to car pool. Maybe you can shove all the kids into an Uber?? Jonathan’s mom wouldn’t be down with that.
She doesn’t have a job, why doesn’t she just drive them every day? You criticize yourself for being unfair noticed you just missed the chapter you needed to listen to on forgiveness (again). Your commute only just started, you pull out of your driveway.
Burnout: the process by which you work super extra hard to stay in one place.
Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Women all over the world feel the effects of doing too much at both home and work while carrying more than their fair share of the emotional labor in their household.
Reinvention is the answer to burnout. But what does reinventing yourself mean? Just as the car must convert from sitting still at a stop light to moving forward with gusto…so must you convert from spinning your wheels in one place to creating a bright, rewarding future.
The odd thing about being human is that while you’re actually wired for learning and growth you’re not exactly wired to enjoy it. If you’re angrily asking, “what does reinvention mean,” understand you’re not the only person frustrated by the prospect of starting over. Take a deep breath. Read through this break-down of what reinvention is (and isn’t). Open your mind to the possibility of bigger, better and brighter.
What does reinventing yourself mean? It does not mean re-creation.
Reinvention doesn’t means starting over from scratch. Just like the car went from standing still to moving, it didn’t have it become an airplane. It simply had to go from using all that pent up energy to stay in place to moving forward.
Likewise, when the pain of working your ass off just to keep your head above water is harder than the prospect of reinvention, you don’t have to give up being a doctor to be a lawyer. You may discover a way to translate your time management at home, into project management for your favorite non-profit though!
Get curious about what has gotten you this far and you’ll experience this thing called “inspiration.” Remember feeling inspired? Don’t worry, you soon will.
What does reinventing yourself mean? It means taking stock of your progress so far and finding a way to use your experience to your advantage
You’ve already created a certain level of success in your life. I mean … you’re alive, right?? Chances are good you’ve put a roof over your head and food in your belly. You’ve learned some things, overcome some obstacles and taken on quite a few major responsibilities.
Everything you’ve done up to this point has happened because of what you brought to the table. Tenacity, guts, vulnerability, compassion, community or some other quality that you’ve relied on to get you this far.
Grab a sheet of paper right now and start making a list of your strengths and abilities. If you’ve taken the Conscious Transitions course with me then pull out the results from your “All About Me” Coffee Date and add those discoveries to your list.
Not only will you see that, despite feeling directionless and underwhelmed in life, you’re actually quite a badass. Now start paying attention to your meandering thoughts. You’re about to feel “The Nudge” to go do something crazy.
What does reinventing yourself mean? It means breaking out of your comfort zone.
Human beings are like the ever-expanding Universe. You are Light. You are energy. Your growth is inevitable. Fight it all you want but if you don’t challenge yourself and push forward through complacency, life will do it for you.
The illusion of control makes you feel like working hard enough, long enough and positively enough means you should be able to just dial in your success and coast. LIfe doens’t work that way. YOU don’t work that way.
Rock your own boat before divorce, death or downsizing does it for you. Curiosity, passion and playfulness exist within you so that you’ll continue searching. The hunt grows and strengthens you, not the treasure.
What does reinventing yourself mean? It means being emotionally attached to the journey, not the destination.
Culturally, you’re taught that the reward in life is the achievement itself.
- Earn the ‘A.’
- Get the promotion.
- Nab “the one.”
- Lose the weight.
While it’s fantastic to work hard for the next big thing, the achievement itself does little for you. The struggle toward the achievement is what helps you find your boundary then push beyond it.
The fight for the goal shows you that you’re made of more than you originally thought. You prove to yourself, over many tribulations, that you’re equipped to thrive and not merely survive.
Once you know you are capable of greater good within yourself you learn to contribute greater good to the world around you as a natural part of the reinvention process.
What does reinventing yourself mean? It means discovering levels in yourself you didn’t even know you had.
The world asks you to recycle more, drive less, volunteer on the side or eat less meat for the sake of the planet and it feels way too onerous. “I’m having a hard time just taking care of my shit. I can’t be responsible for the world’s shit, too.” How about a side of guilt to go with your ongoing ennui?? Damnit.
Make a habit of reinvention, however, all of the tools and coping mechanisms within you get stronger with every iteration of Self. One little change at a time for the greater good feels doable … even natural.
Soon, you can’t even imagine yourself thinking about it any other way because, as good as you’ve got it…?! Why WOULDN’T you make as many good decisions as possible for others?
Life will, at some point, put more on your plate than you believe you’re prepared for. The difference this time is, you now understand how to use the abundance of resources within you to re-allocate back into your personal life. Every tool you have is honed and ready to do business, too, because you’ve built them up and mastered them.
What does reinventing yourself mean? It means using change and upset to your advantage.
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is a choice.
There will always be upsets in life. You’re mortal and your life is interdependent with the lives of others. That means that illness, occupational changes and goodbyes will always be a part of your human experience. Pain is inevitable.
When you try to cling to “what was” instead of embrace “what is” you will lose the battle. You will also deny yourself the fullest possible growth within yourself. In addition, because you cling to what “shouldn’t” have happened or the “unfairness” of it all, you create a victimhood habit and belief.
When you believe you are the good guy and the world is the bad guy you wind up weakening instead of strengthening. Over time, even feeling content with what you have feels impossible, let alone daring to be happy. You opted to stand still (or tried to) instead of treating life’s changing circumstances as opportunities. Suffering is a choice.
The pain inherent in life’s hardships doesn’t’ preclude the utility within the same experience. When the shit hits the fan seize the opportunity to practice everything you wrote down on your strengths list. How else did you expect tenacity to get tenacit-ier, or compassion to get compassion-ier??
What does reinventing yourself mean? It means making the decision to “and,” not “but” when you get the feels.
You can…
…love your kids AND what more time with your friends.
…be grateful for your job AND want something new or more meaningful.
…grieve a loss AND smile about the future.
The moment you make space for both, seemingly opposite, experiences is the moment you create the bandwidth to take action on any inspiration that comes along.
Any story you have in your head about what you should and shouldn’t feel is exactly that … a story. Not only is it based in partial fiction it is malleable. You can change your story. Be so glad that you have your steady paycheck, for instance, AND decide to write that book, go back to school or start a business of your own.
In fact, the positive feeling inherent in true gratitude acts as fuel for your new endeavor. What do you think the guilt of feeling like your job should be good enough does to your energy reserves?????
So the next time you feel burned out, fed up, bored but overwhelmed all at the same time remember you’re simply being called to do more with your inherent gifts.
- Start from right where you are,
- Fully own the strengths you’ve already developed,
- Accept, embrace and embark on change (before life does it for you),
- Focus on the joys in the journey,
- Observe yourself as you grow and give yourself credit along the way,
- Surrender to change that you didn’t initiate, and
- Allow yourself to fully experience your life without guilt.
Reinvention is, as the name implies, an iterative process. Embark on the path toward the stronger, badassier you at your own speed, in your own way.
Triggered by the possibility of taking on more when you’re already overwhelmed? Start with the best Anxiety Reduction technique I know. Download The Squeeze for free right now.
Triffany is a certified professional life coach specializing in helping strong women tame their inner hot mess. Contact her now for a free consultation.
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