The Rage Quit videos on the internet are great entertainment. They may have even given you the courage to quit your soul-sucking job. There’s a reason you don’t see the aftermath though…it’s hard work figuring out what comes next. Professionally, your expertise still lies within you. But what has changed within you while you were busy sucking it up at your terrible job?! And how do you do something purposeful with those changes moving forward?
Reinventing yourself for a new career after a rage quit is really just mining the past for its jewels of insight and the future for it’s golden opportunities. Yes, there may be new skills to learn or certifications to update, but if you’ve ever looked at your life and wondered why you’re miserable in spite of having it all, then the real work begins with your Self.
Keep your eye on what you can control (you) then skills and opportunities flow much more naturally. Not to mention, you’re less likely to repeat old patterns!
one Find the reason for the rage.
Something went unaddressed within yourself while you were at your previous job. No healthy boundaries? Didn’t know how to highlight your own achievements? Or maybe you weren’t proactive about building healthy relationships or mentorships.
Anger falsely covers something else that has gone awry in your psyche. Ignored feelings of neglect, believing you’re unappreciated, confusion, betrayal, et al. can all fester within you every time you try to just force your way through the tough times. Eventually, ignored feelings erupt as anger. You, and everyone around you, winds up wondering what the hell happened.
Probe deeply to find out what you’re really feeling and why. “The Toddler Game” from F.A.I.L.* to Win: 4 Simple Principles To Get You Out Of Your Own Way is a fantastic tool to delve deeply and find the root of the problem. Act like an annoying kid who, without any assumptions, who keeps asking, “why,” “what for” and “what if?” Layer by layer you’ll discover new insights about yourself, mindset and habits!
These insights are the key you need to break the pattern and change your future.
two Investigate the “fit” of your last career.
For some reason, that job was a mismatch. Take an honest look at:
- what you put into it from an Outer Life perspective: skills, hours, expectations,
- what you put into it from an Inner Life perspective: hopes, passion, purpose,
…and see how those fit in with your Fors, or your core values. What could you have contributed that you held back? What did you give up within yourself just to get that paycheck? Where did you advocate (or not) for some passion projects?
Look back on your career, hobbies and passion projects. What do you most enjoy about each and every role you play? There’s a common thread in there somewhere and when you find it you’ll not only have clarity on your new direction, you’ll see yourself in a new light as well.
Find your inner drive before moving on to the next professional iteration and the path to success will simply reveal itself. Taking the steps on that path becomes easier too!
three Commit to new action.
New insight is never enough. You must commit yourself to act in accordance with the newfound wisdom from Steps 1 & 2. If you don’t change what you do, you not only return to the same soul-sucking rut you were in before but you’ll know you’re that asshole who knew better but refused to change anything.
Make a list of ways you’ll practice:
- self advocacy,
- self promotion,
- healthy boundaries,
- letting go,
- focusing on your strengths,
- communicating with authority or
- whatever you found as an area of opportunity.
Visualize successful conversations where you not only follow through with your practice, you feel calm and confident while you do it. The brain doesn’t know the difference between what you imagine and what is real. Every time you visualize yourself showing up in desirable ways you remap your brain to behave that way when the time arises.
four Forgive yourself.
Throw any guilt you may feel about the way you left in the mix if you need to but I’m really talking about a deeper kind of angst. If you’re not already feeling these doubts, it is likely that these, or similar thoughts, will come up at some point:
- Fear that you’ll pick a paycheck over a passion again.
- Doubt your courage and/or self-advocacy skills.
- Second guess your passion or purpose (or worse be convinced you’ll never find it).
- Wonder if you’ll be courageous enough to leave when you know it’s time.
- Envision yourself repeating old patterns.
Anything that displays a general distrust of yourself and your Self. After all, how useful is reinventing yourself for a new career if you can only envision yourself repeating the same mistakes??
When you view forgiveness as a retrieval of your energy (rather than permission or dismissal of unacceptable behavior) you begin to see that kicking yourself for your mistakes uses up the energy you need to focus on the new, reinvented you.
When you find yourself replaying all of the “should’ve”s from your past simply notice that you’re expending energy in an unhelpful place and redirect toward your new, courageous commitments to yourself.
The time/effort you spend in reflection on your new commitments and practice is directly correlated to your success moving forward. Let the rest go.
five Use your “everyone” stories to find your growth opportunities.
Learning your lessons about YOU is entirely different from becoming jaded about “everyone.”
If you have even a single “everyone” story contact me, STAT. Those beliefs you’ve built will not only color every future experience with the same brush of your past, it will make you see it where it isn’t and make mountains out of molehills.
Essentially, you will re-create the environment you hate, simply because you hate it. What we resist, persists!!
Your past experiences are there for you to learn something new about YOU and to give you the opportunity to practice something within yourself like patience, forgiveness, or resiliency.
You spot it, you got it. You wouldn’t even be able to recognize characteristics in others if you didn’t have them within yourself. When you find a destructive “everyone,” or “always/never” story crop up question the crap out of it, investigate where you exhibit those behaviors and practice like the dickens at being the new you.
six Get curious and be playful.
Everything you need to know about yourself and your purpose on this planet can be found in the part of you that just wants to shriek with joy at whatever adventures lay ahead.
Haven’t heard from her in awhile? That’s ok, she’s still in there somewhere. You just need to wake her up with some FUN.
- Get out and CELEBRATE life.
- SHARE your ideas and fears with people you can trust.
- Let them reflect back to you what they think you’r strengths are and LISTEN.
- Play hide and go seek with your new life and see that you really are made of all the wonderful the stuff your loved ones see in you.
Not only is this attitude toward your growth more helpful, it’s more sustainable too!
seven Follow your hunches.
You’re back at what feels like square one, which is GREAT because you get to develop a new MO. Since you don’t quite know what’s next just treasure hunt your opportunities. Listen to the wisdom of butterflies in your tummy.
It doesn’t matter if it makes sense or not. Don’t wait until you have the whole path solidified either. Allow your intuition to guide you to your very next step. Then take it, no questions asked.
You’ll be surprised at how easy reinventing yourself for a new career becomes when you allow yourself to be led.
eight Keep track of what’s working.
Always, always, always count your wins. What is helping you rediscover your Self or your passion? What gets you excited to begin networking again? How did you arrive at the insight that made you rush to re-word your resume?
These are the skills you want to commit to as a part of the new you. You’re building the habits that keep you from reverting to old patterns. The more you rely on them the more you’ll learn to trust yourself and the easier the steps to forgiving yourself and others becomes!
Reinventing yourself for a new career is an iterative process. Go through these steps repeatedly. Integrate these so that they’re habit. You’ll find, over time, you’ll be inspired to explore possibility within your professional life instead of being dragged down by it.
Reading through this article means you’re already a new and improved you who has moved on from her rage quit. Now get this fresh you out into the world and love her to pieces!! She certainly deserves it.
It’s amazing how a few steps in a list can actually feel like a lot. Download The Squeeze right now to help you manage any anxiety that crops up. It’s my favorite go-to practice when I start spinning and my first recommendation for people who can’t shut their brains off at night. Lemme know what you think!
Triffany is a certified professional life coach who helps strong women tame their inner hot mess. Start with the book F.A.I.L.* to Win: 4 Simple Principles to Get You Out of Your Own Way and follow up with a class. Everything you touch will get easier as you go.