As a smart, strong woman you’re already well aware of the difference between being alone and and being lonely. Hell, most of the time all you really need to feel refreshed again is some good, old-fashioned “you time.” Every once in awhile, however, the dark underbelly of the sequestered experience can rise up and bite you in the ass.
You can know that loneliness is normal but that doesn’t help you like it.
I put some dealing with loneliness quotes together for those times you need reminding that you too, Superwoman, will go through the necessary fires to forge new strength. The world needs your next-level badassery. Using loneliness to your advantage is just one way make sure you level up quickly.
You’re not making it up …
Your first temptation as a strong woman may be to talk yourself out of your feelings so you can just move on already. It’s important to remember, however, the age-old truth, “what we resist, persists.” The harder you try to deny or fight off an experience the stronger it appears in your life. Mother Teresa, as controversial as she may be, knew this truth and not only surrendered to her own suffering but to that of the world as well. By extension she eased a lot of suffering (for herself and others) too. That’s just how it works.
Before you run, in tears, from the pain take a moment to acknowledge where you are. Pamper and soothe the sweet soul within that feels the sting of loss and loneliness. I can’t think of a better person to run to her side than you. Can you?
Loneliness heralds a new era (like it or not) …
If you’re wired like most humans you have a tug-of-war experience with change. You simultaneously need and desire change while trying to avoid it at all costs. Most people who embrace change have learned to do so consciously, as our natural survival instinct tells us not to rock the boat.
Look closely at your past. How many changes could you sense coming but you resisted? It’s time to accept the fact that if you don’t rock your own boat from time to time, life will do it for you. Loneliness is a sure sign that it’s time to shake things up. To deny the need for change is to invite a maelstrom in life destined to force change upon you.
Find purpose in your loneliness …
Loneliness affords you the opportunity to look within. It recognize what’s missing. It also arises as a form of frustration about your underutilized gifts Your life goes on auto pilot from time to time. It’s easy to feel like you’re just plugging along; working really hard to get the basics done but not really making any headway. Or worse, experiencing gains in life toward achievements that aren’t all that fulfilling.
If you’re dealing with loneliness right now consider the possibility that it’s a gift. An unexpected era designed to limit distractions. You get to inspect the real cost from of previous choices and tune into new possibilities.
If you can’t feel loneliness spurring you on, as suggested, perhaps it’s time learn the steps to forgiving yourself and others. The past is an emotional ballast that hold you back more than you realize.
Rediscover yourself…
There was a time you were excited about life and facing each day’s adventure. You were young and took that state of mind for granted. You effortlessly surrendered yourself to experiences and curiosities. It’s in that state of open-hearted playfulness that your Self thrives.
This could be an incredible time to reinvent yourself! What does reinventing yourself mean? It means looking deeply at yourself (and your Self) to find and nurture the parts of you that have been ignored all these years.
Every moment spent in the obligatory, busy-ness of life is an expenditure of time that your purpose can’t afford to waste.
Understand there’s another way to view this moment to yourself …
The only thing keeping you stuck in loneliness is a perception you have that it’s “bad” or “unwarranted.” Bouts of loneliness are a part of life’s cycles. If you can’t accept that and feel you “shouldn’t” be lonely, or it’s unfair somehow then you will forever view these necessary breaks as something to be avoided instead of savored.
The moment you learn to cherish all of life’s experiences is the moment you transform pain into opportunity instead of suffering.
Reach out … immediately and meaningfully …
Consider who, in your sphere of influence, may be willing to receive your newly gained insight.
Dealing with loneliness at work, for instance may simply be a sign that it’s time for you to reach out as a mentor or friend, rather than waiting on others to understand you.
You’ll quickly find that acts of kindness towards others are a salve to your injured spirit.
Be thoughtful about the people you reach out to. Ensure they’re contributors and collaborators, who aim to heal themselves and others. Commiserating with those who unconsciously perpetuate the problem (in both of you) will only prolong your sense of loneliness.
Don’t wait until all of your problems are solved to decide to help others. It is in the aide of the world that we find our own strength and creative solutions.
Loneliness means you’re moving forward …
No one else can see life the way you see it. You are the only person with your experiences. You alone have a vision for your life and it is yours to evolve your way into. Your path is YOUR path alone. It should be no surprise that others’ paths divert from yours, from time to time. Cling to your past, or attempt to eliminate change in your present and you’ll stop your own evolution.
Loneliness may feel like an loose cobble in the road or an uncertain darkness on your journey. Make no mistake, it remains a fundamentally important part of your path forward and is sign of your perpetual progress. You are moving forward…your return to loneliness (and it’s opportunity for reflection) are proof of your progress.
Treat loneliness as though it is happening FOR you and not against you.
Loneliness, or any other hardship in life, is an inevitable part of the human experience. Making it useful acts as both cure and prevention.
It’s amazing how a few steps in a list can actually feel like a lot. Download The Squeeze right now to help you manage any anxiety that crops up. It’s my favorite go-to practice when my head spins and my first recommendation if you can’t shut their brains off at night. Lemme know what you think!
Triffany is a certified professional life coach who helps strong women tame their inner hot mess. Start with the book F.A.I.L.* to Win: 4 Simple Principles to Get You Out of Your Own Way and follow up with a class. Everything you touch will get easier as you go.
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