PoP ~ May Thought Prompts and Discussion

The rules are pretty simple:

  • This is a safe place for you to share your thoughts and ideas on each day’s prompt.
  • Critical thought and poignant questions are encouraged.
  • Any behavior that seems aggressive, abusive or attempts to undermine the efforts of other participants will be banned from the conversation and the site.

May’s journey is about creating the environment that supports your growth and renewal.

You’ll investigate the resources you have available that already support you.
You’ll also consider what resources may need changing or purging.

Mantra: With grace and ease I allow for and create the thoughts, habits and conditions that support my evolution into purpose. 

Clarity Portion of the Month

(Days 1-10, minus weekends)

The first third of the month you’ll get clear on what it really means for you to grow, evolve and take ownership of your purpose, because for many of us the idea of nurturing our own growth is almost foreign.

Day 1 Thought Prompt

What connotations do you have around the word “nurture?”

Connotation is the personal, non-dictionary meaning that you give a word.

For example:
I have the obvious nurture meaning along the lines of “to take care of,” or “to help grow.”
I also have these personal emotions tied up in the word: there’s a motherly nature to the word for me, it’s one-sided but appropriately so for some reason. I realize there is an element of patience to my “nurture” concept, a need to sow, tend, watch, protect and always with an uncertain outcome.

 

Day 2 Thought Prompt

Other than the default meaning you identified yesterday, what else can you make “nurture” mean for you?

What else is possible in your perception of tending, caring and expectations?

For example:
Yesterday I realized my connotation feels quite one-sided. I have an alternate way to view that when I consider that there is some reciprocity in the very act of nurturing itself. As I nurture, I am nurtured. Maybe not directly but certainly indirectly through the practice itself. In realizing this the idea of nurturing something becomes less onerous for me, especially in those areas where it feels heavier than others.

 

Day 3 Thought Prompt

In what ways do you currently nurture your own personal growth?

Think beyond what you learn about personal growth. Really consider what you actually DO already.

For example:
Every time I catch myself judging myself for some perceived character flaw (impatience, anger, guilt) I remember that I am fallible and that I am growing. I try to be gentle with myself, forgive myself and renew my efforts to show up differently next time.
I also meditate, journal and share meaningful conversations with friends.
I try to focus on my wins, no matter how small.

 

Day 4 Thought Prompt

How do the people you love get the nurturing they need for personal growth?

Who gives it to them and in what ways?

We’re just noticing … no judgement. If you see judgement arise go back to February’s work in forgiveness and work through it.

Day 5 Thought Prompt

How can I nurture my own personal growth?

Notice this is different from the Day 3 prompt that asked what you already “do” to nurture your growth. After you’ve looked at more angles can you find more was to achieve this goal?

For example:
In addition to the ways I identified on Day 3’s example, I can now take some of the ways I nurture others and apply them to myself:
I can give myself more downtime,
I can ask for help,
I can set (and keep) better boundaries,
I can carve out more time for the things I love

What did you come up with? Share in the comments below.

Day 6 Thought Prompt

How am I willing to receive nurturing from others?

We SAY we wish we could get ______ from others but are we actually willing to receive it or do we turn it away for some reason?

If you get stuck think of the times you’ve heard yourself say things like:
“Well, that must be nice to get/have ________.”
“I wish someone would __________ for me.”
“If I could just get _________ I’d be able to ________.”

Day 7 Thought Prompt

 

What hidden stories come up for you as you consider self-nurturing?

“Yay, it’s about time!” or “Yeah, but others deserve it more.” or something else entirely?

Remember NO judgement is necessary. If you ARE judging February’s tools are a must.

Day 8 Thought Prompt

How do you feel when you nurture yourself compared to when you nurture others?

How would you like it to feel?

For example:
I used to feel good, noble even, when nurtured others. But guilty as hell when I nurtured myself.
I’ve even had moments when I resented the need for nurturing in BOTH scenarios.
These days it all feels like part of my personal practice…integrated.

 

Gathering Portion of the Month

(Days 11-20, minus weekends)

It’s time to get your nurturing ducks in a row!

What do you have at your disposal to help you self-nurture so you can get better at recharging your own batteries?

Day 9 Thought Prompt

Review your Day 1 definition of “nurture.” How do you define it now after so many days reflection and context changes?

It’s ok if you still see it the same. Though we did enough finagling that it’s likely you have brought a deeper understanding to your own view. If you haven’t, try the previous 10 days again.

Day 10 Thought Prompt

Who can you talk to about their thoughts on nurturing?

New perspectives aren’t meant to change yours, necessarily, but it’s always an exercise in self-awareness when you find out how differently others see the world. Counter intuitive, I know, and it’s still true.

So many insights come to me during conversation. Often it’s not even what the person said but because hearing them say it made me understand myself even more.

Day 11 Thought Prompt

In what ways would you like to nurture your personal growth?

Review some of your thoughts from the Clarity portion to jog some ideas

Day 12 Thought Prompt

Are there ways the whose personal growth you’ve nurtured might nurture yourself in turn?

What if you asked or at least didn’t turn away when it was offered?What if you only nurtured people who behaved with reciprocity? What would your relationships look like then?

Telling people how we want to be treated never ever works. But showing people sure does!

 

Day 13 Thought Prompt

Reflect on Day 5:

  • What did you identify as a way to nurture your own personal growth and
  • what is the first step you’re able and willing to take?

Whatever you’re adding into your thoughts or new habits make sure it is digestible enough that you can easily fit it in to the life you’re already living.

Day 14 Thought Prompt

Reflect on Day 6:

What specific requests are you willing to make of the people who may be willing to nurture you and your personal growth?

This is a TOUGH one for me!! It’s not that I have any hangups at all about asking for help when I need it. It’s just that it never occurs to me that I need it!! I can’t ask for help if I don’t think I need it!! This is a constant practice for me, for sure.

 

Day 15 Thought Prompt

How can you either use your story or change your story about self-nurturing to support your own growth?

For example:
Remember my original story about nurturing? (Days 1 & 2) If I were to use my original story about nurturing feeling very one-sided then I can begin to seek healthy boundaries and practice sticking to them. OR As you see in the subsequent days I can change my story as I look at other potential viewpoints. That nurturing is actually an opportunity for me to practice being the kind of person I want to be. Both of those outcomes aid my personal growth.

Day 16 Thought Prompt

What positive, rewarding associations can I make when I self-nurture?

Basically, IF you have guilt around self-anything how can you begin to change that?

For example:
Remember my “one-sided” story? As I get better at remembering it is also a nurturing gift to me then all I need to do is remind myself of that and take a small moment of gratitude that I got to a chance to be the kind of person I want to be and even just recognizing that helps me appreciate myself as I appreciate myself I self-nurture … see the new cycle?

Need help breaking down YOUR story? Put it in the comments and I’ll help! Better yet, join a class and learn the tools that make your whole perspective more healthy and positive! 😀

Action Portion of the Month

(Days 21-End, minus weekends)

 

Review your answers from the Gathering Portion and start doing some of the things you’ve lined up.

Day 17 Thought Prompt

Write down your new definition of nurture and combine it with an intention.

For example: “Nurturing is an act of loving kindness that provides the conditions for a person to feel safe while they grow and change. Every day I will nurture myself with at least on elf the following practices _______, ________, _______.

Commit to this every single day for the 21 days minimum.

Example practices might be:

  • Saying, “no,” without needing a good excuse.
  • Removing yourself from others’ drama.
  • Doing something just for the fun of it.
  • Sticking to my boundaries.
  • Carving out 30 minutes to myself.

What are you ideas? Share them with me in the comment section below!

 

 

Day 18 Thought Prompt

Schedule some quality time with the person(s) you identified on Day 10. Show up. Be vulnerable.

The only way to get unstuck is to break down the barriers you have up that is keeping you there. Vulnerability takes incredible strength. Go there. Learn something.

 

Day 19 Thought Prompt

Reflect on Day 11:

Schedule some of those ideas in. Watch for opportunities to practice them in real-time.

For example:

If one of your new self-nurturing practices is saying “no” more often then you can schedule a time to get back to the PTA on the Spring Carnival AND say it when your co-worker puts you on the spot in the meeting.

Day 20 Thought Prompt

Reflect on Day 12:

Of the people you currently nurture, ask them for reciprocity.

Without any expectation of agreement on their part or any outcome at all. Just ask.

It is of the utmost importance that you go in with an open mind to their feedback, even if they disagree. The asking itself is a form of self-nurturing that you’re going to want to improve upon over time.

 

Day 21 Thought Prompt

Reflect on Day 13.

Take the step you identified (or ANY step for that matter ~ there’s NO wrong move here).

Take a step again and again and again. #1000Recommitments

 

Day 22 Thought Prompt

Reflect on Day 14:

Think of those people who might have the resources you need and then ring them up and ask.

Without any expectation of agreement on their part or any outcome at all, just ask.

Day 23 Thought Prompt

Reflect on Day 15.

Practice the changes you identified. OR

If you’re not making any changes then bring what works to the forefront and do it more often.

Day 24 Thought Prompt

Reflect on Day 16.

What associations are integrating into your new default? Not just in what you DO but in who you are??

Remember to celebrate the wins! Every. Single. Win.

 

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