This last week I’ve had the pleasure of spending time with some pretty amazing ladies.
One is leaving a successful business and all of the trappings of city living to move her and her family to a small mountain town.
One sold her thriving business to take a position that, for all intents and purposes, is administrative in nature.
Another is making an expensive personal investment in a branch of a non-profit that hasn’t been tested in the Colorado marketplace after already being in debt to a buyout she’s made of a large financial company in California.
Two more share similar stories of walking away from stable jobs and using student loans to pay for expensive graduate programs in with no guarantee of any stable outcome with the extra education.
Conventional “wisdom” had a lot to say during their mind-chatter and doubt phase of these decisions but ultimately these women followed their instincts, took the risk and are currently happier than ever…even though some of them are in the midst of their transitions.
Here’s the thing about conventional wisdom…it is merely conventional…there’s no real wisdom involved at all.
Every time my kids make a mistake, big or small, I ask them, “ok, what did you learn?” Invariably their answer is, “Don’t do that again!!”
It is easy to believe that wisdom comes from the lessons learned along the way, that if we keep track well enough we’ll be able to safeguard ourselves from painful outcomes. That’s not how I see it and, luckily, that’s not how these women see it or else they may not have attained their joyful life.
Certainly, the “don’t do that again,” has its use. It alerts us to the fact that we have something to investigate. But memorizing a million possible outcomes and contingencies easily leads us to the committee in our heads that is more than happy to debate an issue ad nauseam without ever taking any action.
I much prefer the wisdom that comes from within,
“how did that mistake make me feel?” – not emotionally, physically….where does embarrassment, distrust, hurt show up on my body? Can I use this as a signpost in the future?
“what do I get to practice as a result of that mistake?” – Humility? Honesty? Accepting what is? How about grace and forgiveness with myself?
“was there anything I Knew deep inside that I didn’t act upon?” – Capital K. Was my decision based on fear or Love?
“was there something I thought I knew because I talked myself into it?” – how involved was my ego?
We cannot protect ourselves from painful outcomes. But we are highly empowered about whether or not we suffer. Suffering comes from the stories we tell ourselves about the painful outcome. When we get out of our heads and make decisions using our inner wisdom then we have our attention turned to the expectation that our circumstances serve us – even when they’re uncomfortable. If we make ego-based decisions then the opposing side of that blasted committee gives us a bunch of “I told you so” messages which leads to guilt and, if we’re not careful, shame. The difference is slight but incredibly powerful.
Ego turns it’s attention to what could go wrong
Wisdom turns it’s attention to making the best use of what already is.
If any of these ladies had made decisions from their ego they’d be doubtful at every turn instead of using each hiccup to their advantage.
I’m currently in the midst of two very big, seemingly risky, turning points.
1) Very soon I’ll be revealing a re-brand that has a mood and energy that is vastly different from what I’ve built so far.
2) Next week I’m launching a crowd-funding campaign so that I can publish my F.A.I.L. to Win book.
Ego says, “too much all at once – not if you do it right; people won’t understand – some of them will…the right people will; it’s too hard to ask for help – asking is part of your practice so it’s perfect; you’re supposed to be such a success why can’t you just do it all yourself – because true success is shared in the comfortable and the uncomfortable times.” Believe me … this goes on and on!!
When I take a deep breath and go inward my heart lights up, my brow relaxes and I get impressions that say, “trust; just the next simple step; you’re enough; you’re ready.” Ahhhh.
I know which message keeps me in my stress-brain where disaster is most likely to strike.
I know which one keeps me feeling calm and prepared for whatever comes next…where I’m most likely to meet the challenges that come.
I also know when the time comes to take that big action I’ll feel nervous, I’ll get the butterflies, my ego will still try to chime in and I will turn to my Knowing and take that next step. I know I’m not guaranteed any one version of “success.” I know that I will gain information I need to decide the step after that, I know that I will have gained confidence to take the step after that and I know that I will let my heart light up at each turn as I grow into the next phase of my business and my life.
1) I will be terrified
2) I will do it anyway.
So here it is…and yes – my heart is pounding. I need your help. There. I said it.
I want to get the tools that I’ve combined from years of coaching experience and education into it’s book form so that people who cannot afford to take the class can at least buy the book.
If I’ve filled out everything correctly my Indiegogo campaign will launch on October 13th. I need people who are willing to help me raise enough money in two ways.
1) Buy the book
2) Spread the word.
If you, or someone you know, would enjoy learning methodologies that help you do more than just find the silver linings in your perceived failures but actually take advantage of them then I hope you’ll join me in getting the word out about this opportunity. I’ve made it easy to opt-in to my team by signing up here. I’ll use this list to send you updates and, to make it as easy as possible for you, I’ll also be sending content that you can either copy/paste or emulate in your social media, email or just regular conversation.
If you’re not already familiar with it you can learn more about the F.A.I.L. to Win concept and course here.
If you don’t know what crowd funding is it’s simply a way for people who have great ideas to ask the people who might like those ideas to invest in the creation of those big ideas. In other words, I have a book + I think you’ll like the book enough to pre-buy it + you buy it through the campaign = now I have enough money to publish the book and once it’s published you get your copy.