What You Know And What You Believe Are Often Two Different Things
“2-6 weeks recovery time”, he said.
“No big deal,” I’ve been telling everyone.
As I think back to the trajectory of my knee health I remember that denial is the first phase of grief. Denial is a tricky little bugger, because what you know logically is vastly different from how you believe. And it’s what you believe that informs your actual behavior.
In the case of my upcoming surgery I knew, as an intellectual exercise, that my knee was going to need plenty of time to heal after a Meniscus Arthroscopy [surgery]. On the one hand, I said OUT LOUD to people how grateful I am to have a job that is so accommodating about times like these because I knew, intellectually, that I was going to need some time off to recover. On the other hand, I submitted my first time off request for the day of the surgery and that was all. One day. Then I realized how silly that was and took the next day off. TWO days!! Some part of my brain really thought I’d only need TWO days to recover.
Of course, I adjusted my time off to the Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and then the weekend. As the reality of the situation sunk in I prepared work for the possibility that I’d be working from home on Monday, too. When I let my team know I was working from home I acquiesced to the likelihood that I’d need Tuesday from home as well. SO stubborn!
You Know You’re Re-Creating Yourself But Do You Believe Change Is Possible?
This is anecdotal proof that no matter how many new circumstances life throws in front of you, your paradigm (what you’re used to believing) can, and will, mask the opportunity.
The clarity portion of March taught you just how much work it takes to stay present to what IS. The things you need to jerk you into wakefulness (in my case surgery) are often met with this weird, subversive resistance simply because it doesn’t fit within your current belief system (I’m healthy and able).
The Gathering portion of March takes you one step further down the “time for a fresh start” path. You’re not only focusing on what you have in your personal growth toolkit you’re starting to make plans on how to implement your lessons.
As rudimentary as it seems, moving toward change (even temporary change) isn’t easy…even though it’s predictably simple.
- First comes denial (brushing off the need for change, “it’s fine”),
- then comes anger (angsty camouflage for something else, like confusion, frustration or exasperation).
- It isn’t until you pass bargaining (“maybe if I just change a little, that’ll be enough”)
- and move through sadness that you finally bust through into true acceptance of your busted self-barricade (“not only CAN I do this, I AM doing this”).
Allow Yourself The Pace (Probably Slow) That You Need
That’s why making small, iterative changes toward your passions is so important. Your growth is more likely to climb when the steps you take to feel simple and totally doable. There’s no need to fight with that inherent, habitual resistance. Instead, make it all so easy that there’s nothing your subconscious feels the need to fend off.
Choose progress over perfection every time. Especially those days when you’re not even sure you did much. As long as you stay present to your intentions and you keep a lookout for your opportunities (March’s Thought Prompts make this SO easy), you’ll realize, over time, that you’re just … well, happier!
“Happier” is code for “experiencing more purposefulness and passion.”
I know March’s steps can seem Lilliputian compared to the gargantuan habits of your past. But don’t dismiss the power of the those tiny tip toes forward. If you don’t remember what happened during Gulliver’s adventures you can at least remember that I, Triffany “Stubborn is my middle name” Hammond did finally take a full week off from work. Well…mostly. 😉
Having a hard time staying committed to the through prompts? Invite a friend to share the experience. This work is so much easier when you have someone close to you who just gets it.