Yesterday was an emotional rollercoaster specifically around this experiment
The Energetic/Emotional Rollercoaster
Yesterday I was telling my daughter about The Abundance Experiment. I wasn’t even ½ way through explaining it to her and she broke out in peals of laughter. She’s 14 so my first inclination was to believe that she was laughing at me for some “my mom is such a mom” moment or something. She couldn’t explain it, she had no idea where it came from and when it ended I was so elated by that relationship with the pure JOY I’d been experiencing that I couldn’t help but be encouraged by it. I made incredible progress in everything was working on, it all felt light and fun.
In the evening I met with a friend who was hearing about this whole debacle for the first time. One of the reason I love this friend so much is she always asks insightful questions, totally without judgement, that give me a whole different perspective on things. She asked me, again completely without judgement, a few questions about what I was going to do if things didn’t work out. Admittedly, I really didn’t have any good answers. I went home suddenly full of doubt. Was this denial after all? Naiveté? Or, worse, am I being completely delusional about what is possible for me??
Needless to say I didn’t sleep very well.
I woke up from a dream. Even though that dream was filled with a bunch of non-sequiturs (most of mine are) the symbols seemed strong and purposeful. I had to do a dream analysis on it. (It occurs to me that you might enjoy this tool too. I’ll make a video for you at some point.) In the analysis I realized that my subconscious was trying to tell me that aside from setting a very clear and specific intention and goal I am very much on the right track with all of this. In fact, as long as I stay in this energy with an open mind there are many gifts possible for me in addition to material wellbeing.
I spent the rest of my journaling time setting very clear and specific intentions then meditated on the feeling of achieving them.
The rest of the day I will nudge back into my original state of being around this. I will relax and feel the original messages I’ve received: this is a necessary step to your next story in life and you’ll be stronger in every way for it.
I’m calling on the memories of how my tools have worked in every other aspect of my life (how many times have I physically healed myself from the worst possible scenarios??), my tools have worked for my students and clients with their wealth stories, and it is merely time to use them in this last possible way – financial health.
My mantra today: Return to joy, curiosity and playfulness. There is no need to resist anything that comes up.
Any time spent looking backward invests my creative energy into an attempt to manifest a version of what was and detracts from what is meant to be. My thoughts and energy must remain, unwavering, on the future I’m creating.
Interesting tidbit about the dream: There was a man in it named Callum. I had NO idea Callum was even a name. I thought it was a nonsense word my subconscious thought up. I tried to anagram it before I decided to Google it. It’s a Scottish name that means dove. I looked up the symbology of dove and found this:
After talking to my amazing friend, Colleen, about this symbology it occurred to me that the day before the dream I’d had to drive wide around a beautiful grey dove with a pink head who was bathing in the gutter in front of my driveway. She never moved…just stared at us as we pulled in.
I happened to have a dream this time and that worked but a lot of times I rely on my bucket of tools and practices. What do you do when you experience the emotional rollercoaster of doubt after confidence?