Every decision is a tough decision when money is tight and the future feels uncertain.

The Tough Decision

My students and clients hear it from me all the time, “resource to your purpose, not your obstacle.” The Find your Vision, Create your Mission goes into this process in detail about how to find your purpose and what it means to resources to it. The F.A.I.L.* to Win Empowerment Course (*For All Is Love) goes even deeper and matches your purpose to your deepest desires and values. I want you to understand the struggle I’ve had these last couple days so I’ll give you the Cliff Notes version.

In essence once you find what your real work is in this life every time there’s a problem to be solved you want to make decisions in accordance with that real work (hint: it’s not your job) .

My purpose (in part)

My real work, for instance, especially since last fall has been around trust and surrender. One of my deepest desires and values is the ability to meaningful connection with my loved ones. The list is longer but these are the ones that apply to this story. When I’m faced with an illusory struggle my goal is to measure the success of my possible choices against those higher goals; my decision has more to do with meeting my reason(s) for existence than it does with a guaranteed outcome. I want to spend whatever resources I have (time, money, inspiration) on what I’m really here to do on this planet (my purpose) and not to my obstacle (my perceived problem).

My perceived problem (that leads to the tough decision)

My perceived problem right now is having absolutely no idea how I’m going to pay for my living expenses approximately 3 weeks from now. I say it’s a perceived problem because it may not even exist at all. I may very well have a money miracle on it’s way that I’ve put into motion with my new website launch, upcoming book, speaking gigs, and so much more. It is only my fearful story “omg, imma run outta money,” that has me scared from time to time and giving the illusion of a tough decision. Because my prognostication skills are a bit limited, I have absolutely no evidence that my frightful imaginings are true. Fear is a strong, visceral emotion so it feels true. That is all.

The Actual Tough Decision(s)

Weeks ago, while I still held the illusion that I did know how I was going to pay my expenses, my mom asked me what day would be good to spend together. We picked this last Friday the 10th. Thursday night I really struggled with the tough decision to go or not. She understood that there was nothing in my budget as far as disposable income and had offered to pay for everything so money wasn’t the issue.

The issue was the opportunity cost; if I went I wasn’t working. Period.

Everything we’ve been taught would’ve directed me to stay home and get some work done so I’d have more finished courses available to people willing to solve their problems.

“Let her take the kids, without them around you’ll really be able to buckle down and get through a bunch of the work on your list,” was the constant thought that made logical sense to my Limited Mind but I could feel in my body how out of alignment that was (tune into your body’s Truth…I’m telling you, it’s the best freaking thing you can do for your personal development). So I tapped into my Expansive Mind which reminded me of my “trust, surrender and connection” work. My body suddenly felt light and radiant as though I really had no money issue at all.

I decided to go.

Friday morning I checked my bank account and was positively giddy to see the gift that added a full week to my ability to provide for my family. (trust, surrender, connection)

My mom, step-dad, two teenagers and myself enjoyed chit-chat over lunch then perused the Forney Transportation Museum. No bickering, no teen angst, no rushing or impatience. Just the 5 of us meandering through the open hall taking a trip through the past via cars, motorcycles and trains. We had the best freaking time. All of us.

tough decision,

My mom, me and my two amazing teenagers taking a step back in a Model T.

Another Tough Decision

I was faced with a similar decision the very next day, yesterday (Saturday) when my kids wanted to visit Fairmount Cemetery, the second oldest cemetery in Colorado. We love to leisurely stroll old cemeteries and make up stories about people, look at the carvings, play with pictures or make charcoal rubbings. I’d already taken a day off!! My kids actually wanted to spend time with me though and we always love every part of these trips, the drive, the outdoors and the adventure of it. Again, Limited Mind said skip it and my Expansive Mind reminded me of my real work on this planet.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to get two teenage siblings to get along for an entire outing?? Two days in a row they walked, talked and we all reminisced. It was beautiful!!

A time-weathered headstone looks more storied and beautiful for the wear.

A time-weathered headstone looks more storied and beautiful for the wear.

The Outcome of The Tough Decision

Yes, I work hard and deserve the break.
Also….yes, I have a great big question mark hanging over my financial future.

Isn’t the reason to work hard in the first place to spend meaningful, connected time with my loved ones? Here’s the opportunity to do what I say I love and am working so hard for it really doesn’t make logical sense to say, “no,” to it. In the end, it’s really not a tough decision at all.

Today, Sunday, after going to sleep feeling happy and full and having a languorous morning while in Love with my life I feel refocused and energized. I feel a lot more creative and primed for content creation than I would have if I’d have skipped out on the refuel and wound up feeling cheated, resentful and empty.

Even my resistant, stubborn Limited Mind can agree that it was the right decision after all.

All of this reminds me that we:

  • Get a choice in every moment of every day to live in alignment with our truest selves
  • Often the chance to practice whatever it is we need/want to improve our lives has the appearance of a tough decision. My practice is trust, surrender and connection regardless of my financial status. I got, not one but, TWO banner opportunities to practice making decisions that are in alignment with my real work.
  • There’s no need to wrap a negative story around practice opportunities like this. Thoughts like, “the moment I start to get my shit together I get thrown a curveball like this,” or “I want to go but noooooooo I have to be the responsible adult and miss out,” may feel factual but they’re nothing more than fear crafting tales.

We cannot take a leap of faith while holding onto the cliff.

Do you have a protocol that works for you when there’s a tough decision? What is it and how does it work for you?

I happen to find this little tidbit while writing this post! Things Rich People Never Say Pretty apropos, dontchyathink?