“There’s a lot of bitterness, there’s a lot of anger out there. We all have to work hard to heal those wounds.” - Allen Boyd
After a big transformative event we’re often left dazed, confused, hurt or lost. During these times we hear, either from ourselves or others, “that time heals all wounds.” I’ve been a life coach for long enough that I recognize that while this advice is well-meaning and will help someone focus on the temporary nature of any problem it is, quite simply, inaccurate.
Yes, eventually a routine will kick in and we’ll feel less and less dazed. We will begin to employ coping mechanisms that help us find meaning that dulls the confusion and the pain. And we will be forced to go on which, with time, will help us feel less lost. Basically, distance from the big moments will get us functional.
However, functionality is not the same as healing.
We cannot truly heal unless we take the time to seek help in seeing our blind spots and then choose to go inward. We must be willing to (when we’re ready) lean into the experience of the transformative event and evaluate any conclusions we’ve made around that experience. We must give ourselves permission to consciously access a healing process that is right for us…and that takes work!!
I encourage you to love yourself enough to go, layer by layer, into your emotions, your thoughts and assumptions to find true healing so that you may begin your real purpose here.
Time may get you functional but it will not, on it’s own, heal all wounds; only consciousness and Love can do that.
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Triffany Hammond is a Trauma & Illness Recovery Coach: Life Coach for people who feel no one understands.
You can learn more about my and my services at www.TheWellnessAccomplice.com or find me on Facebook.
And yes…I capitalize words like Love, Self and Happiness because they just feel that important to me.
yes, layer by layer….i love this post b/c i’m in this situation right now, or still and i actually expected to feel better by now, with time. what have i been doing for the past couple of years?? i’m not sure but everyone around me seems to think i’ve had enough time to heal. that i should just “let it go.”
it’s so true consciousness and love will give me the healing i’m looking for.
thank you
I’m so glad to hear that you’re encouraged by the realization that just because others have run out of tools to help you doesn’t mean that you’ve done anything wrong by not being “over it” nor does it mean that you’re beyond help.
Deep wounds take deep healing and that can take a lot more time than we (or others) think.
Big hugs to you, Salty, I think you’re doing great!! 😀